supersmashthestatebros:

okay, I lied. I don’t have my license to kill, but I do have my learner’s permit. as soon as my mom gets here, you’re toast.

(via trashqueensatan)

anabelsbrother:

cahrroty:

istumogra:

jensendaddy:

maybe the little bruises and cuts that show up on your body seemingly out of nowhere are actually little injuries that happened to your soulmate and you get the same marks on your skin as them

write a book

do a movie

    

(via planetsoda)

inories:

Explain to me how my room is always messy if the only thing I do there is sleep

(via planetsoda)

souljagirl617:

I don’t go thru ppls pictures on their phone cause I wasn’t raised in the jungle

(via planetsoda)

relyonloveonceinawhile:

whatmariadidnext:

two4fit:

TABLOID HEADLINES WITHOUT THE SEXISM

"WOMAN IN TRACKSUIT PROBABLY NOT DISOWNED BY ENTIRE FAMILY"

"It’s mildly breezy outside."

(via planetsoda)

(via shimozu)

parzival221:

shak1ra:

redevoted:

bowserfucker:

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”

what about a book of all the lies people have told you

Oh how the tables have tabled

Tables have tabled

(via stayhated)

thefuuuucomics:

dictatorboy:

Shirt I saw while souvenir shopping

i must have this shirt

(via randomqueen14)

randomdice:

fatmf:

fashionable-gamer:

Ever notice how when justifying a child’s misbehavior no one ever says stuff like “girls will be girls” or “she’s a girl”, but the list of things a “young lady” can’t do is almost endless?

You learn from a young age that masculinity comes with freedom; femininity comes with restrictions.

Whoa

(via randomqueen14)

(via lulz-time)

nunsandbongsjesusanddongs:

multidjc:

j-ckie:

romamochi:

profmth:

Mitt Romney’s family misspell their last name in the greatest Freudian slip in history.



i just spit my drink everywHERE omfG


I’m not even sorry

this always makes me laugh lmfao

nunsandbongsjesusanddongs:

multidjc:

j-ckie:

romamochi:

profmth:

Mitt Romney’s family misspell their last name in the greatest Freudian slip in history.

image

i just spit my drink everywHERE omfG

Is it wrong to love this?

I’m not even sorry

this always makes me laugh lmfao

(via sammycriedformommy)

riddlersgammon:

that time of year is approaching

scary lawn decorations

terrifying tv programs

people in costumes going door to door

election season

(via graduatedelf)

iblamebuckybarnes:

unofficialhogwarts:

Headcanon that after the battle of Hogwarts, George dyes his hair an outrageous colour, and at first Molly is mad, but then she hears George whisper “I kept thinking it was him in the mirror”. 

image

(via planetsoda)

thelovelytempest:

the avengers + cards against humanity (insp.)

LMFAO the Hulk one tho

(via planetsoda)

thefaultinourspoons:

sickallsummer:

i know I have a phone appt with my doctor today I just forgot WHEN

omg, you just reminded me that I have one, and I have no idea when it is, oops.

I had one with my Neuro and one with my gp on the 11th and 12th and I had reminder cards on my wallet but then my purse got stolen and I was like uggggggggggggggg